Keep It To Yourself

An old dude stopped me on my way into the grocery store the other day.

Keep in mind I had headphones in and was in full-on “you don’t see me, leave me alone” mode. I was not making eye contact. My chin was up, I was woman-on-a-mission walking.

He saw me. He stopped me, on purpose. He waited for me to pop out an earbud before saying: “You’ve got some blue in your hair,” and smiled at his own cleverness.

strike_one_sherlock_dean.gif

I’ve read posts (and listened to actual words coming from actual mouths) from friends wondering if they should tell a stranger that their clothes are unflattering for their body shape/size, or sharing how someone else should have checked their clothes / hair before they left the house.

none business maam rufus.gif

I just watched Deadpool talk about inclusiveness and champion against sexism and racism while making cheap diabetes jokes at the expense of a fat kid.

So I started writing about judgmental people and how our media creates both comedy and horror based solely on “otherness,” how the internet has removed our instinct to mind our own business — and then realized I was doing exactly what I was angry about. 

So I’m going to just leave these here, and go mind my own business.


Out of the Ordinary

BREAKING THE HABITS...

It's been a rough couple of days, if I'm being honest.

(Fourteen is totally "a couple.")

why_arent_you_dead_crowley.gif

May is National Mental Health Awareness month, and let me tell you, I've been pretty fucking AWARE of my mental health. Aware that even though I'm a million miles away from where I was, the darkness isn't as far gone as I'd like it to be.

People talk about intrusive thoughts. If you know, you know, and if you don't know, I won't scare you. But I've had my share these past two weeks. I'm unscathed, so far.

Any day you make it through is a win, right?

stressfulday.gif

My biggest weapon has been productivity.

I've accomplished three months of work in the past three weeks, and yeah, I'm proud of that. I've been writing -- but it's not fiction, so that's been refreshing. Weird to not spend every waking moment with Melody, though that's coming. Book 2 edits should show up mid June, I think. (Send Swedish Fish. ALL the Swedish Fish.)

Instead of writing or being productive today, though, I made a choice.

A conscious, shake-it-up, reset my brain CHOICE to rearrange my living space. (This is a tried and true method to cope with stagnant thought patterns. I highly recommend it.) I also switched up my music - away went the low-key INFJ playlist, and IN came the musicals: loud and proud, complete with the singing.

Be More Chill. Heathers. Hamilton. Wicked.

no_singing_dean.gif

The problem is the new-to-me bed in this room weighs approximately 17 tons. I was laid up for two days the last time I rearranged, but today? NO MATTER. I summoned my child and together we managed to wrangle the massive wooden headboard (that is literally as tall as I am) and the attached queen-sized frame which all felt like they were made of petrified wood into position. Then I brought said child back to her home and I spent 4 more hours sorting and placing and fixing everything just so.

And it's perfect. Yes, my back is sore. Yes, I've sung every part in each of the aforementioned musicals twice AND recited most of the dialogue in all 3 hours of Fellowship of the Ring (that was to test if I'd hooked the TV back up correctly, though.) I've touched every item I own, and placed it where it will bring me joy. I've thrown away trash, folded laundry, and basically reset everything... including my thoughts.

imAwesome_ruby.gif

It's a good feeling. 

I've missed feeling good.

I think, just maybe, I'm on the other side.
So I'm breaking ALL the habits, and blogging on a NOT Sunday.
Then I'm going to pile into my freshly relocated bed and watch my two episodes of Supernatural as I officially start the long road to October's season 14 premiere. Then I'm going to go to sleep and look forward to waking up for the first time in too many days.

 Jensen Ackles, seen here at age 12. He's married with 3 kids and owns a brewery now. Let that sink in.

Jensen Ackles, seen here at age 12. He's married with 3 kids and owns a brewery now. Let that sink in.